Thommie Retter Dance Workshop

I promptly squelched that line of thought, as it’s not at all conducive to effective stage-mom parenting, and signed up J. (He’s my 9-year-old who auditioned for Matilda last time around, without any specific prep.) In the waiting room outside that workshop and at the audition, moms compared notes about musical theatre programs, performing arts camps ($5,000 for 3 weeks), dance studios, vocal and dance coaches (over $100 an hour; one we know charges $250). Getting a leg-up in the biz can cost an arm and a leg! Many kids tune their belting voices with Trapper Felides of Oxygen’s “The Next Big Thing.” (Hey, Trapper, check your text messages. I’m trying to book a session. I’m really sorry I didn’t know who you were when we met. I have four little kids, an overgrown teenager for a husband, a freelance writing job, and this time-consuming blogging gig. My reality TV viewing time is zilch, but I’m working on it. You rock.) Moms have to be totally on top of it. Stars are molded, not born.

I can say two things about the workshop my son took with dance phenomenon Thommie Retter (former Mr. Braithwaite from Billy Elliot the Musical, and therefore God as far as J is concerned): 1. J had so much fun he was giddy the entire afternoon and evening. 2. He came out of the Matilda dance audition beaming. Okie dokie, money well spent (and it wasn’t even pricey).

I also kinda doubt the 8U Little League coaches can do anything this impressive: Watch the Video of Thommie tapping (at the bottom of the page on the left in the link).

Aside from Thommie, here is the caliber of talent you may stumble upon at one of his workshops… Kiril Kulish (one of the original Billy’s):

As for Matilda, I couldn’t help but put my ear against the door while J sang…two songs. I resisted clapping. Would they really ask for a second song (“Electricity” from Billy Elliot) after an 8-hr day of auditioning if they weren’t a teeny bit interested? That is just the kind of thinking that can undermine my post-audition advice: Walk out and forget about it.

The casting director did tell me J (whom she’d seen at Alvin Ailey last November) was on the top of the list to play Billy Elliot in the Broadway tour, which, sadly, is closing before he’ll get his chance. Bad luck. Coaching may be key these days, but no one can deny that Lady Luck still plays a starring role.

Judy Garland in “Wizard of Oz”

Clearly Mrs. Gumm took things way too far, but few stars would have made it without a push. The key is to find a way to gently push in the direction where a kid shows potential, not shove them so hard they get whiplash (and lasting emotional scars/drug addictions). As my nine-year-old is pretty serious about dancing (and acting), I’ve asked any serious dancer I encounter about how much is too much. Almost all say they wanted to quit at some point when they were kids, but their parents pushed them, they stuck with it, and they’re glad they did. I guess the question is when does push come to shove? It takes work to become great at anything and kids tend to be lazy. Although Amy Chua took pushing (and shoving) to the extreme, I think her book Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mom made some excellent points about coddled, unmotivated American children.

For now, pushing and shoving don’t work into the toddler modeling equation. The wee ones have to love it or they won’t last past the first booking. On these little breaks from real life, there’s more hand-holding between T and me than there would be in our chaotic house of six. I don’t offer her speed but perhaps break a few nutrition rules when packing the snacks. I carefully assess her response when I say, “We’re going to New Jersey for pictures.” So far, this statement still yields a huge grin and a question of what toys she’ll get to play with this time. The big motivation for me, stagemom/chauffeur, is not the money (read about that here) or the tear sheets (these shots were for packaging; we’ll have to buy the toys to get the tear sheets!) or the blog material. I’m pushing open doors. Print modeling leads to commercials, which lead to acting opportunities. I was obsessed with acting as a kid, and I see that gene in two of my kids. What I would have given for the chance to audition in New York. J will be auditioning for Sesame Street this week and Matilda on Broadway this weekend. Being a realist, I suspect these experiences will be great opportunities for learning to deal with rejection. That is a lesson that is blatantly absent in most kids activities these days.

Are stage moms any different from parents who are paying for expensive extra training for their young athletes or intensive tutoring and SAT prep classes to plot a course to the Ivys? Maybe we’re worried about child actors ending up like Lindsay Lohan (see the latest news)? Comment and let us know what you think!

Stay tuned for my Stylemama pic and the skinny on Fashion Week.

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