Agent – Model or Agent – Mom Relations Rule Book

No one gives you a guide book on how to act with your agent, so faux-pas are common—and can kill your career if you aren’t careful! Here are a few tips on What Not to Do when communicating with your agent.

Emailing Your Agent

1. DO NOT write unnecessarily lengthy e-mails. Your agent—if he or she is any good—is very busy. Keep e-mails as brief as possible. A few sentences at the most. No chitchat. Your agent is not your buddy. If you want to do any longwinded venting or bragging, text a friend.

Calling Your Agent

2. DO NOT call your agent all the time. Again, they are crazy busy! Most communication can happen via email (brief ones!). If you have an important issue that you must discuss via phone, ok, but this shouldn’t happen often. (I talk to my kids’ talent manager once a month at most and their modeling agent hardly ever—even bookings are conveyed and confirmed via email.) If your agent happens to prefer speaking by phone, that’s fine, but let them take the lead as far as the frequency and duration of those calls.

Booking Out

3. DO NOT forget to book out. If your agency is submitting you on jobs because they think you are available, it’s a hassle for everyone and poor reflection on them when it turns out you are not. After you book a vacation or schedule an appointment you cannot miss, email your agency with your book-out dates. (But if you book out all the time, that also will irk your agent!)

Lauren Hutton’s famous gap-toothed smile

Career Guidance

4. DO NOT skip consulting with your agent when making important career decisions. Without monopolizing their time (I know, it’s a fine balance), keep your agent in the loop and respect their advice. Certainly there is a place for standing your ground (Lauren Hutton kept telling Eileen Ford she would fix the gap in her front teeth but never did; it became her signature feature), but don’t recklessly undermine your relationship with your agent.

Brooke Shields (age 14 in this photo) was managed by her infamously over-earnest mom, Teri Shields

Model Parents

5. DO NOT be over-eager. This one is especially directed at parents. Be supportive; do not be over-earnest or pushy. Unfortunately we stagemoms are up against Gypsy stereotypes. One whiff of Mama Rose behavior and agents are likely to drop Junior rather than deal with you. So many parents sabotage their kid’s career, often unknowingly, with their own misconduct. You don’t want to be that mom. The fact is that you have to lean toward passive to overcompensate for the pre-conceived notions people have about stagemoms. In my experience, few live up to those notions, but the ones with successful kids are definitely on the ball, informed, and at-the-ready when their kids have to be at a casting or booking. (Teri Shields, Brooke’s mom, was generally all of these things, despite a severe drinking problem, but she also was pushy enough that she insisted on managing her kid’s career herself. Most agents wouldn’t tolerate such an opinionated and emotionally erratic mom. Read more about that “model-mom” relationship in Brooke’s book: There Was a Little Girl: The Real Story of my Mother and Me. I found it fascinating and well-written by the Princeton grad and ultra successful model-turned-actress.)

Subscribe to my free Modeling Mentor Newsletter

The matriarch of modeling, Eileen Ford, co-founder of Ford Models, passed away last week. As a teenager growing up in the 1980s, I heard stories about the strict disciplinarian from a leggy girl on my synchronized swim team. Ford signed her when she was a junior in high school and off she went to live in the Ford’s apartment on the Upper East Side. I was so envious and couldn’t believe it when the teen returned to Rochester several months later, homesick. She couldn’t stick it out. Eileen’s home was no fun house; the girls were there to work, behave and learn manners and good posture.

Eileen and Jerry Ford at the Ford Agency

Anecdotes from Katie Ford, Lauren Hutton, and Half a Century of Supermodels

Katie Ford, Eileen’s daughter, who later ran the agency, told me how there was a shuffle at the table when Eileen sat down—a gaggle of girls all scurrying to sit up as tall as they could. Lauren Hutton told me about Eileen insisting the gap-tooth beauty fix her teeth and her nose. She didn’t mince words. (Lauren, just as strong-willed as the agency icon, never did.)

The anecdotes about Eileen Ford go on and on. Don’t miss these fascinating articles about this modeling industry trailblazer:

Eileen Ford’s Legacy

Eileen Ford, Grande Dame of the Modeling Industry

Eileen Ford: Through the Years

Eileen Ford: Promoter of World’s Supermodels

Have you entered the Modeling Mentor Model Search yet? Don’t miss you chance to be discovered by top agents!

Lauren Hutton never fixed the gap in her teeth. That gap may have made her famous!

It’s possible, on your path to model stardom, that your agent or photographers, will suggest ways to “improve”  yourself: nose job…boob job…lipo… Now those “improvements” require some serious thought. These major procedures comes with risks, both medical complications and the possibility that the “new and improved” version just does not feel like you. Lauren Hutton was told to fix the gap in her teeth. She even promised Eileen Ford that she would, but she kept putting it off until that very flaw became part of her signature look that made her a huge success. I know at least one Victoria’s Secret model who has made a fortune due to her breast augmentation (and I’m sure she is one of many). So, it’s a tough decision. Take your time, ask for multiple opinions, and be sure whatever you do, it is a change you will be happy with even if you do not make it as a model.

There are some makeover items that are no brainers, whether you want to model or not:

Spider Veins and Age Spots — Get Rid of ‘Em!

Even at 22 I had unsightly spider veins on my thighs and the start of a varicose vein problem. There’s no question that they qualify as flaws. I didn’t know then that schlerotherapy, injecting the veins with a solution that collapses them, was so effective and easy.  I wish that I hadn’t waited until 30 to try it. I only needed one treatment to almost eliminate them and the healing process is fast. I wore bandages for 24 hours and limited exercise (although my legs felt perfectly fine, just a little itchy under the bandages) and then wore support hose for a few days. I’ve repeated the procedure a few times since, each time with Dr. Katz at Juva Skin and Laser Center in New York. (Cost: $500 per treatment.)

Age spots hopefully aren’t something you have to worry about until the twilight years of your career, depending how careful you are about sunscreen! But they also are easy to treat. I’ve had the sun spots that have appeared on my face over the years lasered several times. They just aren’t cute like freckles are! I also went to Juva to have the laser treatment done by Dr. Katz. It feels a little like hot grease being spattered on your face but it’s tolerable. You’ll have to book out, as it will take about a week for the scabs to clear up.

There are so many other treatments that models consider: laser peels, Botox, having a rib removed to reduce waist size (I’m not kidding). Which do you think are no big deal and which would you think twice about? Let us know!

Don’t forget to enter the Modeling Mentor Model Search! It’s almost time to pick the September finalist!

Joan Smalls, the first Latina face of Estee Lauder

I don’t think all this rejection is a bad thing. In the real world, everyone is not the Most Valuable Player on the team and feelings are not protected by a fabricated culture of ultra fairness, as is the case often in school these days. What a model must recognize is that the rejection is not personal. By and large modeling is about superficial characteristics: your figure, your hair color, your petite nose, your symmetrical face. Aside from taking care of yourself—working out, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, plucking your brows, maintaining your highlights, dressing in flattering clothes—you have little control over how much you will work. Personality plays a part. It can help to be cheery, agreeable, funny, and interesting, but those qualities alone will not make you a supermodel. The genetic lottery will.

Lauren Hutton, one of the most enduring models

The hardest part is determining when to believe the naysayers and perhaps pursue a different career, and when to soldier on and keep chasing the dream. Plenty of models have defied the odds and proven that determination pays off: gap-toothed 5’7″ Lauren Hutton (she lived on pot pies while spending months trying to get an agent in New York), Kate Moss (a midget next to the supermodels on the scene when she started modeling), Puerto Rican supermodel Joan Smalls (rejected at first in New York for being too “dark,” until IMG’s Ivan Bart accompanied her to castings as her cheerleader. Now rated the #1 model in the world on models.com). Heidi Klum was originally relegated to catalog modeling at Metropolitan until Elite reinvented her as an editorial girl.

Heidi Klum, hardly the catalog girl she was originally labelled

The bottom line: Models need to have a thick skin. The great news is, the color of their skin doesn’t matter so much anymore.

There’s still time to be considered for June Model of the Month! ENTER now—it’s easy, just e-mail a snapshot and some stats.

SUBSCRIBE to my free monthly newsletter and be the first to see the finalists! Also remember to “like” the page of you favorite model(s) of the month.

I ran into very few bitchy models during my decade on the international circuit, but certainly they are out there—just in much fewer numbers than people would imagine and condensed at the top of the food chain. Bottom feeders are just trying to earn enough to feed themselves; there isn’t much room for attitude!

While I didn’t have many nasty girl run-ins, I met a show-off or two. They inspired this “Dear Jill” column, which reveals what’s beneath the bragging.

One more week until I pick May’s Model of the Month. Enter NOW!

To make sure you don’t get bored while I’m gone, here are links to some of my favorite modeling articles from the Tear Sheet archives:

Lauren Hutton

Adriana Lima

Heidi Klum

Covers Shot by Patrick Demarchelier

Patrick Demarchelier

Have you entered the Modeling Mentor Model Search yet? It’s a great chance to launch your career! See details HERE.

Sign Up for my FREE MONTHLY NEWSLETTER.

Kristen McMenamy at age 46

Because models are an investment. If an agent is going to put time, effort, and money into promoting a model, they want the highest return on investment possible, i.e. many prime working years ahead before wrinkles appear and marketability declines.

Christy Turlington at age 42

The supermodels who have managed to stretch their careers into the decades (five of them in Lauren Hutton‘s case) made names for themselves back when they were fresh-faced teens.

Lauren Hutton at age 67

There are exceptions, of course. Anna Nicole Smith was discovered at age 25. Isabella Rossellini began a modeling career at age 28 (her pedigree—she’s the daughter of Ingrid Bergman—gave her a leg-up). Some models have resumed their careers after two decades off (see Karen Bjornson‘s story).

I headed to Europe to model after college at age 22. I felt ancient. Even though I was starting my career later than most models, I looked young and I wish I hadn’t worried so much about being old. Looking back at photos of myself, with my baby fat chipmunk cheeks, it makes me chuckle to think how over the hill I felt at the time.

So, yes, youth counts in the model success quotient. Agencies like to start girls as teens (men have more leeway as age = distinction with them; our society still needs to work on that with women, but the clients booking beauties like Lauren Hutton help. Thanks Alexis Bittar!). However, 22 is not old. I made a lot more money modeling at 30 than at 22, so it’s not all over at 25. And, I didn’t miss out on college. That counts for a lot in my life success quotient, which always counts more than a mere model success quotient.

Enter the Modelingmentor Model Contest—there’s no age limit!

Cindy Crawford and family

The last two times I ran into her, back in the dark ages before airbrushing was the norm, the live version could compete with the photo version. Outside the Portapotties at New York Fashion Week in 1994, the real Cindy looked just like the Cindy Inc. we know and love (was she Cindy Inc. yet back then?). As we stood side by side washing our hands, I wanted to tell her, “Wow, Cindy, you look exactly like Cindy.” But that would have made me seem like a wide-eyed fan from Middle America, not a fellow catwalker (I was but not at all in her league). Instead we smiled pleasantly at each other, as you do during those awkward ladies room moments.

Soon after I saw her at the Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, filming Fair Game. (I was posing in a cheesy editorial for Cosmo). She looked great there too, but looks didn’t quite carry the movie. It was a big flop, but Cindy gracefully accepted the limits of her talent and found success elsewhere: as a spokesperson, fitness guru, beauty mogul, furniture designer, mom, enduring model (she appeared on the cover of Vogue Mexico just last year).

Other lessons that can be culled from Cindy Crawford’s career:

1. Embrace your uniqueness. Some people wanted Cindy to remove her mole. Like Lauren Hutton who told her agent she would fix the gap in her teeth but never did, Cindy resisted. Good thing, cuz her beauty mark became her trademark.

2. Beautiful does not equal ditzy. Cindy graduated valedictorian from DeKalb High School in Illinois and won an academic scholarship to study Chemical Engineering at Northwestern. Fortunately for the fashion world, she was discovered by famed photographer Victor Skrebneski and dropped out after one quarter.

3. Beautiful does not equal skinny. Cindy has always had sexy curves. If only there were more Cindys out there on the runways today!

4. Even if posing may seem like a shallow activity, the fruits of a model’s labor can make a profound difference in the world. Cindy’s little brother died of leukemia when she was ten years old. She has turned her sexy calendars into medical research dollars for that cause. She is also actively involved in the Ronald McDonald House  and California Wildlife Center and has supported numerous charities over the years.

Stay tuned for some mom wisdom from Cindy later this week…

Crystal Renn gave me a lot of food for thought in her memoir, Hungry (written in collaboration with Marjorie Ingall).

Her struggle with anorexia and exercise bulimia, fueled by her modeling ambition, is painful to read. She subsists for years—tender teenage years—on undressed salad, plain steamed vegetables, sugarless gum, Diet Coke, and the occasional protein drink. (During those same years, Pizza Hut occupied all corners of my food pyramid.) She works out for up to eight hours a day. She joins two gyms, so people won’t suspect she has a problem. One glance at her 95-pound 5’9″ shadow of a body must have given that away. I’m not sure how her mom stood by and watched all this without scooping up the half of her daughter that remained and whisking her away from New York and all things fashion for a while! Instead Mother Nature stepped in. Renn’s body outsmarted her.

I agree with Renn’s theory: a body has a set point and will fight like hell to stay in its natural range. For me, that’s 125 to 135. I could stay around 127 as a model without resorting to anything more extreme than eating healthy food (a lot of it), exercising regularly (nothing obsessive), and not drinking too often (i.e. about three times a week—oh, those were the days). Bad luck for Renn that her set point is 30 pounds higher…or, as it turns out, good luck. Her story has a fairytale ending. But let me chew on some other thoughts first before getting to that.

Renn’s anorexia is not the average model’s story. And she is fair in not blaming the industry for her obsessive-compulsive approach to reaching for the supermodel brass ring. She did, however, open my eyes to how out of hand the skinny standard has gotten in the editorial world in the past decade. Renn makes the point that in the early 90s, Kate Moss seemed “shockingly skinny. Now Kate Moss-level skinny no longer seems novel. So the girls had to get skinnier.” Check out shots from any of the big shows, most editorials, high fashion ads, and you’ll see she’s right. These girls are sporting toothpick appendages. (Re. Renn’s claim that models are much taller now than several decades ago—I don’t get it. Lauren Hutton started modeling in the 50s and, at 5’7 1/2″, says she was always the shortest. See my “Lauren Hutton” interview.)

I asked my longtime modeling friend Audi Martel, fit model for Carolina Herrera and Zac Posen, about this weighty issue. “Yes, editorial models are way skinnier than they were a decade ago, and the most frustrating part is that clients won’t admit there’s anything wrong. ‘Oh, she eats,’ they’ll say, about a paper thin model they’ve booked. But I’ve been watching, and, no, she does not eat.”

Does this change my opinion where weight comes up elsewhere in my blog? (Note to self: write a blog that does not contain the word weight.) No, the bottom line is always the same. Don’t go leaning so far out, desperately grasping for that supermodel brass ring—you’re liable to land flat on your face (passed out on Madison Avenue if you’re as malnourished as Renn was). The skinny-mania is most rampant at the top. The catalog world, the smaller markets, less prestigious editorial, regional fashion shows—they accommodate models who don’t disappear when they turn sideways.

If you’re as lucky as Renn you’ll have the best of both worlds. After all those bland vegetables, torturous hours on treadmills and pacing hotel hallways, she gained back those 70 pounds…and her happiness andbecame a plus-size supermodel—something that didn’t exist when Kate Moss trudged onto the scene. Emaciated duckling turns plump swan—bravo!