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Modeling Tip: How to Cope With Rejection
Rejection is unavoidable in the modeling world. Every model will be told “No, thanks”—by agents, by photographers, by casting directors. And often they won’t get the courtesy of the “thanks” part. The first thing I taught my son when he started going on acting auditions was to forget about the audition after it’s over. You walk out the door and don’t think about it again unless you get a call from your agent saying you’ve booked it (which is rare, that’s just the way the odds are stacked). Castings are part of a model’s job; every job has the monotonous, tedious tasks that must get done, and the bookings are the payoff for tenacity and discipline.
I don’t think all this rejection is a bad thing. In the real world, everyone is not the Most Valuable Player on the team and feelings are not protected by a fabricated culture of ultra fairness, as is the case often in school these days. What a model must recognize is that the rejection is not personal. By and large modeling is about superficial characteristics: your figure, your hair color, your petite nose, your symmetrical face. Aside from taking care of yourself—working out, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, plucking your brows, maintaining your highlights, dressing in flattering clothes—you have little control over how much you will work. Personality plays a part. It can help to be cheery, agreeable, funny, and interesting, but those qualities alone will not make you a supermodel. The genetic lottery will.
The hardest part is determining when to believe the naysayers and perhaps pursue a different career, and when to soldier on and keep chasing the dream. Plenty of models have defied the odds and proven that determination pays off: gap-toothed 5’7″ Lauren Hutton (she lived on pot pies while spending months trying to get an agent in New York), Kate Moss (a midget next to the supermodels on the scene when she started modeling), Puerto Rican supermodel Joan Smalls (rejected at first in New York for being too “dark,” until IMG’s Ivan Bart accompanied her to castings as her cheerleader. Now rated the #1 model in the world on models.com). Heidi Klum was originally relegated to catalog modeling at Metropolitan until Elite reinvented her as an editorial girl.
The bottom line: Models need to have a thick skin. The great news is, the color of their skin doesn’t matter so much anymore.
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I appreciate this article so much!! I was just rejected by a modeling agencie in a hard core way. They were not polite nor did they take any time to talk or listen to me. Basically they called me on the phone to tell me I was denied and insulted my looks. The way it made me feel…..ugh depression.
For some, this type of rejection from what should be assumed to be a professional company, could tip over the wrong person in the wrong way and cause a seriously depressed person to want to commit suicide. I am stable enough to not go to that extreme, thank god…but the crush from this agencie said and how rude and impolite the rejection came at me, most certainly made me feel depressed enough so that I want to give up on my dream in life. A dream I’ve been working diligently towards for most my life. I am a mother and I have 4 children, and my message to them has always been never quit your dream …. no matter what ! I’m trying to be a positive role model for them and to others. But wow…. tbis particular agency treated me like I’m not human or rather they are not human. Is there anything I can do ? I don’t want to burn bridges but I fear for others who may get rejected the same way. Something should be done to prevent this agency from thinking it’s ok to treat people like that.
Thank you again for this article! It helped ease the sadness from hard core rejection